Sometimes, or would i say, most of my time now, I’m hating my own self. I keep on doing mistake, and people keeps on hating me.

I would love to not talking to anyone, but its eating me. I love to talk, I love to talk to people who close to me. Or maybe I’m mostly ranting? And due to that, I hate my own self. I keep on talk to my self, to hold from talking, to not talking, to just ignore everyone around me.

Truthfully, now I’m so worried to get close to anyone, or event to talk to my own family members. I think they hate me, and surely, feel annoyed with me. How miserable person I am now.

I feel like everyone is judging me. Mentally not that stable now. Physically too. I loose some weight, but I think, I gain more weight now.

Not enough rest, did not have proper food. What should I do to ease this miserable feeling. To talk, but at the same time not to talk. It is so hard.

Sometimes, I think, I shouldn’t be here. I want to go far-far away, where there is no one that knowsme, or I don’t have to talk to anyone.

Or, should I just put songs to my head, loudly, so I can isolate my self from the world? This is not good for me, I know. But I cannot do much now. I want to ignore everything and everyone, but I just cant.

Ya Allah, do help me to become a better person, and do help me to ease what ever feeling that lingering with me.